Not exactly to plan so far...

OK, so we had this plan to tell everyone, but it's all gone arse-up at the moment. She decided not to tell her dad while she was away on holiday with him; so we decided we'd do it this weekend instead, along with her mum, and they'd be the first people we told. Trouble is, she now has flu and is sick in bed. So whether we'll get anywhere this weekend is doubtful.

Bizarrely, I told the first person in the world I've told so far today. It wasn't a friend, or family - just the anonymous lady on the supermarket checkout. She asked if I needed the 'vouchers for schools' thing - I said I didn't and she said she knew that I wouldn't as I didn't look "stressed like a parent!" So I suddenly said - 'well, it won't be long - got the first one on the way'.

Felt weird, having not told a soul myself at all and having known about it for nearly 6 weeks now. A bunch of my mates from college are having dinner on Sunday evening and we're supposed to be going so we can tell them there but it might just be me, depending on how the flu is.

In the books it tells you time flies by. So far it has not. It's been positively slow. There's not even a bump, she hasn't seen a midwife yet and frankly as we haven't told anyone it still doesn't feel real. Conversely it feels like about three years' ago that we found out and took that test, but it was just 6 weeks ago.

Got scared today about something else; how do you make sure your kid doesn't grow up to be a git? What if it likes to wear hoodies and beat up old ladies? Take drugs? What if it's a girl and she gets pregnant at 14? How do you stop that kind of shit happening? I have absolutely no comprehension of my potential parental power; am convinced there is none.

I read a book where the bloke in it said that most men were disappointed when they found out they were having/had had a girl baby. Bizarre these blokes who can't envisage life without a son. I will love and cherish my child just the same if it were a boy or a girl. It matters not to me, and I can't believe it does matter to some people. Weirdos.

Anyway, that's it for today. Off to get scared by 'Brat Camp 3' on Channel 4. What if...?