Hey, it's out there

OK, it's been a whirlwind few days.

Went to see her parents on Saturday. It was all kind of rushed really, not like I'd imagined really. We turned up at her mum's about 6 o'clock for dinner. Sitting around before dinner, there was a break in the conversation; she said 'well, we have some news' at which point her mum said 'oh, you're not having a baby are you?'

Well, there was that moment where a whole bunch of panic runs through your head; it turned out ok, thank goodness. Her mum seemed to need a little time for it to sink in, but I'm assured she was actually pleased, even though it didn't look that way. I suppose if you creep up on someone with that kind of news, it's not going to be received in the way you expect it to!

So we had dinner and it was kind of late before we got back to her dad's house. He was still up, and her stepmum came down when we arrived. It was after 10, so I thought we'd stay over and tell them in the morning, but she decided to do it then and there - funniest thing ever, really. Not sure his reaction was entirely what I thought it'd be either, but I guess you can't predict these things. He was pleased, that was apparent - just I think the timing isn't quite perfect.

Today we pretty-much told everyone else, and it's suddenly becoming really real. Actually, the whole dynamic has changed a bit. It's gone from being this little secret we've had into this whole public thing. Seems like I'm losing control of it a bit. So many people emailing and calling to talk - mostly to her, which is understandable! Seems like it's becoming less to do with me in a funny kind of way.

First midwife visit was on Monday - apparently, she was able to hear the baby's heartbeat and she's going to have a blood test next week (week 16) for working out the risk of Down's. Scan is in a few weeks.

So, nothing happens for weeks and everything happens in a few days. Guess this is where it all starts!

Starting to tell people...

Ok, so it seems like aeons ago that we found out, but we're now telling people. Hope it's all going to be ok once we see the midwife now. The morning sickness is still here, so I guess the theories of phantom pregnancy can subside!

Sunday I went to see some old college friends; on my own, she's had the flu as well as the sickness so we decided I'd go it alone. Strange thing - there was this moment's silence and I said, "well, I have some news". I said, "well, in about six months time, I'm going to be a dad".

There was that millisecond of silence before the reaction which was very amusing. Everyone was very pleased, and the horror of what we haven't done soon became apparent when one couple, already parents to two lovely boys, started reeling off things which we should maybe have done that we just haven't done yet.

She also told her work today as an official 'hey, I'm off in a few months' line.

Parents this weekend, then. If she's well enough. The flu really knocked her out and it's still affecting her. What a rough combination.

Got to find our new house and sell this one too. If it's not shifted in the next month or so, I think we'll have to go rent back where we need to be.

Still don't know what I'm doing - that government department will be round shortly, I'm sure.

Not exactly to plan so far...

OK, so we had this plan to tell everyone, but it's all gone arse-up at the moment. She decided not to tell her dad while she was away on holiday with him; so we decided we'd do it this weekend instead, along with her mum, and they'd be the first people we told. Trouble is, she now has flu and is sick in bed. So whether we'll get anywhere this weekend is doubtful.

Bizarrely, I told the first person in the world I've told so far today. It wasn't a friend, or family - just the anonymous lady on the supermarket checkout. She asked if I needed the 'vouchers for schools' thing - I said I didn't and she said she knew that I wouldn't as I didn't look "stressed like a parent!" So I suddenly said - 'well, it won't be long - got the first one on the way'.

Felt weird, having not told a soul myself at all and having known about it for nearly 6 weeks now. A bunch of my mates from college are having dinner on Sunday evening and we're supposed to be going so we can tell them there but it might just be me, depending on how the flu is.

In the books it tells you time flies by. So far it has not. It's been positively slow. There's not even a bump, she hasn't seen a midwife yet and frankly as we haven't told anyone it still doesn't feel real. Conversely it feels like about three years' ago that we found out and took that test, but it was just 6 weeks ago.

Got scared today about something else; how do you make sure your kid doesn't grow up to be a git? What if it likes to wear hoodies and beat up old ladies? Take drugs? What if it's a girl and she gets pregnant at 14? How do you stop that kind of shit happening? I have absolutely no comprehension of my potential parental power; am convinced there is none.

I read a book where the bloke in it said that most men were disappointed when they found out they were having/had had a girl baby. Bizarre these blokes who can't envisage life without a son. I will love and cherish my child just the same if it were a boy or a girl. It matters not to me, and I can't believe it does matter to some people. Weirdos.

Anyway, that's it for today. Off to get scared by 'Brat Camp 3' on Channel 4. What if...?